Big Red?

So I may be a redhead.
And by "may", I mean I am.
See, I wanted to be a brunette for Halloween. And so I tried that spray stuff. But it was all black and gunky and sticky and got all over the place. And when I washed it out, it was like something out of The Ring with all the black water dripping down me. Ew. So I remembered about this temporary hair dye that comes out in 8-10 shampoos. So I wandered over to Duane Reade, but alas, they only had reddish and purpleish and blonde. I found one that was allegedly light brown - "Iced Coffee". Now, I have nearly white blonde hair. So what would be coppery brown on someone with darker hair is just coppery on me. Oh well. It still looks really cool.
Yay for dying your hair out of boredom.
Never fear, I'll be blonde again soon.

Blessed Saint Michael

So, I just watched the tape of The Lark. For the first time. And all I can say is wow. I am so proud right now - proud of myself for conquering that role, proud of my fellow Players for the amazing strides they took, proud to have been a part of something so amazing. As I watched it, I was so struck by the talent on that stage. None of us were the people I know and love - we were the characters we had taken on. I loved that show, I loved being on stage with some incredible talents who were also my dear friends. Steve's voice is one of the most incredible tools I've ever come across. Tillman still terrified me, even on the bad quality DVD player on my computer. His hands were like fluid, sweeping over a scene and describing every emotion with a single motion. Joe embodied innocence and strength. Danny amazed me, and not only because he knew his lines - he was a haunted man. Hal somehow made me laugh and cry in that seemingly endless scene that I grew to love. David was my dear friend and soldier, his gruff voice will forever echo. Mike and Bob - well, damn, way to be evil (and still be the nicest guys in the world). Jon had about three lines, but did anyone notice the quality of the tone? Monty was as much a character as when he was the Hare, but channeled it into an incredibly moving portrait. And Jeff - that moment in the prison will be with me forever. And all the rest who helped illuminate that stage - thank you. You know, I still know every word. Every last one.
And I still know every last corner of that shaky old building that was my home for so long. I miss the Rec so badly, I miss everything about it. The freezing bathrooms, the smell of hoagies, the deafening fans, the phantom light flickers, the sweltering heat in the loft, the overflowing dumpster, the holes, the wood, the smell. And the people. The love. I was so afraid of leaving the Rec - I was terrified of losing it. It's clearer than ever now that I never could. It's a part of me as much as my arm or leg - I wouldn't function without it. So I'm not going to lose it, but I'm so sad to not be on that stage anymore. I still notice on Monday and Wednesday when it's 6:30, and wish I was at rehearsal. I will always love Players, though the times, they are a changin'. I will always have my mark there.
Make it sparkle.
Make it shine.
Give 'em hell.

I know I always will.

A note to my dear high schoolers

So I've been trolling blogs, and something is sticking out in the ones written by my dear friends who havenot yet escaped high school. And I could post comments on all your blogs, but I figured I'd just make a general comment here. So I'm going to pretend that I'm wise and offer some soothing words. Well, kind of.
Now, see, you haven't bitten off more than you can chew. It will seem that way until Christmas, but by then you'll develop a way to make it work. Believe me, I know how it is to overachieve and have waaay too many extracurriculars and hard classes. I was kinda in the same place. But it works out, and you always end up on top. And here's the other thing about being overwhelmed - it never really stops entirely. I'm overwhelmed here at NYU, but I'm starting to get that it's a good thing. Being underwhelmed would just suck. This life thing is no fun without a challenge.
And now here's the crazy part of my advice. Enjoy it. High school probably seems like a place that is perfectly designed to stifle and suffocate. And at times it is. But realize now that you're on top of the world. Everyone knows you, knows your story, says Hi to you when they see you ... and chances are they all love you. Especially my young proteges, you really have it all. Relish in that, soak it up as long as you can. Before you know it, you'll be in a foreign place, surrounded by people who know nothing about you. Grab every spotlight and face every challenge head-on. I know you'll end up on the good side of things.
I love you all and I'm so proud of all you do. I couldn't have dreamt up anyone more wonderful, and I'm lucky to call you my friends.
So chin up. You're loved.

Fresh Air

Yay for fresh air. And fall.
I escaped the madness of New York in mid-term season this weekend and visited Jon at Muhlenberg to celebrate his birthday. On Friday night we went to Dorney Park - sooooo much fun! I do love those roller coasters. And they're even better when you have someone's hand to hold. Saturday was spent in bed watching movies - it was perfect scary movie weather. I think the people at Blockbuster got tired of us, though. All in all, a wonderful weekend of much needed fresh air and cuddling.
And now I'm back to the mid-terms. Eek.

$150 cash deposit?!

Isn't it weird how the best weekend ever can be followed by the worst week ever?
This week has been exhausting, drained, tiring, depressing, stressful, and generally icky. I just spent about two hours wandering the Village with my gimpy knee in search of a movie for my presentation today. To no avail. When I did in fact find it, I had to sign up for a membership to rent it, but the guy wouldn't take my Visa because it's also a debit card, and the only other alternative was $150 cash deposit. Which I don't have. So the movie is out there, but I can't get to it. Which probably makes this even more frustrating. I cannot wait for classes to be over today. I'll get on a bus, and soon I'll be in the land of grass and quiet. Maybe I wouldn't be freaking out so much if I had so grass or quiet. This noise can really get to you sometimes.
Did I mention that I'm completely sleep deprived and can barely stand without serious effort?
Yeah. It's been one of those weeks.

The Girl in the Band

If I were to start a band, would you come see us play?

I hope so. Because it might just happen.

And if not, I'm making a band on my computer. I'm recording and mixing my songs. I really just have to do something about this little talent of mine, don't you think?

Sudoku

This was one quite spectacular weekend.

It was parents weekend, so I had a mommy and a daddy. I had a boy, too. Jon got up here on Thursday. After surviving my first college midterm, I got to snuggle with him. That night, we had a pizza party, I smuggled my first alcohol into the dorm, and we had a seriously good time. I really love the little circle of friends I've developed here. Friday morning I watched a movie for my South Asia class, then Jon and I went up to Macy's to pick out his birthday present: a new leather jacket. We had delicious sandwiches at Au Bon Pain, and I wet off on a long babble about how much I love Thanksgiving. Then we napped. Around 8, my parents got in. We went out to dinner at this really amazing Italian place on MacDougal. Then we wandered about, ending up at a cafe til about 12:30, people watching and catching up. Then we went to bed. Then we woke up on Saturday morning and went to MoMA. Soooo cool. There was the most amazing, breathtaking, beautiful Monet. And Starry Night! And lots and lots of disturbing modern art. And a video of a guy just talking about random stuff that reminded me of something I would make. And then we had lunch at a less than average deli (though the bread was delicious). There, we found a copy of the Daily News. Intrigued by a story about a guy who got a tattoo that somehow related to death and then slit his throat when he fell through the display case in the tattoo parlor, we started to read it. Which is where Mom and I discovered Sudoku (aka Soduko, Soduku, Sambuku, Tampico). It's this crazy number crossword puzzle thing, and it's totally addictive (especially once you actually read the instructions). So, since it wasn't raining for the first time in about twelve years, we bought a book of Sudoku at a pharmacy and settled down on a rock in Central Park. Daddy took a nap. Jon tried to take a nap, but found that annoying me and Mom was a far better use of his time. After about an hour or so of Sudoku, we went back downtown to get ready for our evening in Midtown. We went up to see Fiddler on the Roof. SOOOOO GOOD. Harvey Fierstein is just incredible. And the choreography - wow. I've discovered a whole new aspect to this show that I know and love. And then, Jon got my Playbill signed by Harvey (after taking out an old woman). Then we went back to MacDougal and had some food at Figaro, but we all pretty much fell asleep in said food. So we parted. Dad, Jon, and I, all fell asleep as soon as we got to bed. Mom stayed up til three playing Sudoku. Sunday morning brunch was at an Indian restaurant (oh my god, I could seriously live on chicken tikka masala). Then we played Sudoku in Washington Square, while battling with push-pops and watching the doggies. Our final excursion was in Gristedes, where we got enough food for me to hibernate. Then we said goodbye and I came back up here to procrastinate.
Best Weekend EVER.


In other news, I seriously miss my friends who are still in high school. Come visit me, please. You all are so dear to me.

conflict...

I'm so gosh darn conflicted. It's like every other day I'm set on a new career path. Now, I know, I'm only 18, I don't need to know my entire future right now. The thing is, I do know what I want to do with my life. I have two very clear desires. Unfortunately, there's really no way to combine them. I want to be on the stage. I want to be a lawyer. If any of you can figur eout how to combine these, please let me know. You'd be solving a huge dilemna for me.

Damn the Man

So now I'm officially a college student because I have irregular sleep patterns. Studying til 3am, only to get up at 7 to finish. Staying up til 3am on the phone, then sleeping in til 1. I stayed up til 3 again last night, too.

Last night was awesome. We just chilled down in the lounge, watched Empire Records (I'd forgotten how much I love that movie), played pool, played video games. It was just exactly what I needed to find here. Since barhopping isn't really my thing, it was nice to find a place to hang out that was so mellow - so much like home.

I'm injured. See, the other day, it was rainy. And I was wearing rubber flip-flops, mainly because I couldn't find any other shoes. And so I was walking to Weinstein for dinner, and there was this manhole cover on 9th street. And I stepped on it. And I slipped. No, I wiped out. Completely. So there I was, doing a split in the middle of 9th street in the rain. Laughing. Unfortunately, I'm still injured and standing/stairs are seriously painful.

That's all for now, folks.

how many roads . . .

For those of you who were very concerned by my declaration of an actual life path, don't worry! I'm still all over the place and searching for the right road.
For example, I was just browsing summer internship possibilities at the CIA.
See? So many options!

I wanna be a Tischie

So I just posted a comment on Ellie's blog about this, so I figured I should actually mention it here. I want to move on to Tisch after my two years in GSP. I want to sing and act. I need that stage. Recently, the need to perform has just been coursing through my veins (as has the flu - yay), and I am 90% sure that this is what I'm supposed to be doing. The other 10% wants to go to law school. Hey, maybe I can do both. Isn't that what life's all about anyway? Living all 100% of your dreams, no matter how all over the place they may be.